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The Big Experiences

     If you know me, you know I'm all for girl empowerment! I encourage my girlfriends, and the women in my life to go for the best life can offer them. And as you'll also guess, I'm a Jesus gal to the core which is the foundation upon which I desire to build my day to day existence because without Him, I'm nothing! But I've often heard in certain circles that because you're a Jesus gal, you're exempted from experiencing life's amazing gifts given by none other than Jesus Himself. Deciding to follow Christ does not mean forgoing the pleasures that God created for us to enjoy. Have you ever thought that God created the beautiful oceans, the grand canyon, or the breathtaking islands of Bali? So why wouldn't I dream of vacationing there? Have you ever thought that human beings could never have created the advancements we enjoy today if God had not allowed them? At the heart of everything we see around us, God has been directly (creating the world) and indirectly (allowing man's imagination to flow) involved. He wants us to enjoy and experience pleasure just as He does. Therefore, I'm dedicating this post to the big experiences I believe every woman ought to have before she departs to the world yonder. 

  1. A personal relationship with Christ: Listen girlfriend, only One Man can satisfy your life holistically and that Man is Jesus! Period. I don't care how wonderful your earthly man is, He can't do half of what a relationship with Jesus will enable in your life. I’m talking about transformation, tranquility, and tenderness like you've never experienced. Jesus teaches you about yourself, He shows you love that transcend human ability. Jesus speaks nothing but the truth to you and while it hurts sometimes, Jesus does not leave you hurting after speaking the truth. He wraps you with the warmest blanket of love, kindness, peace, etc. The exact amount of the overflowing love you need to heal is His expertise. In fact, Jesus is the ultimate Subject Matter Expert of your life. You must experience Him. 
  2. Being a stranger in a land far away: This sounds scary, right? Why would anyone want to be a stranger away from home? Here's why: solo traveling to a foreign land can be a self realizing experience. What do I mean by this? There's a societal philosophy that the world is a jungle women can't always navigate on their own! However, throughout the world history, we've seen a sprinkle of women defy this philosophy to conquer beyond anyone's imaginations. In the words of the greatest singer to ever live, "I didn't know my own strength..." RIP Ms. Whitney Houston. Every woman must travel alone leaving all behind to search within, listen to her inner voice (most likely the Holy Spirit) saying the sweetest things about her life. Sometimes, you'll need to travel to hear that your greatest strength comes not from without, but from within. When you travel far away once, I can guarantee you will want to travel far away more often. 
  3. The life changing orgasm: This post will not include every information that ought to be shared on this but if you know me, you know that I enjoy a healthy dialogue around sex, intimacy, relationships and all that nine yards! Did you know that there's startling statistics that says only a few percentage of women have experienced body shattering orgasm! The horror!!! I used to be one of those women going through the motions of one-sided sexual satisfaction. For a few years, I stayed mum about my dissatisfaction for fear of hurting anyone's ego. How I wish I'd spoken up sooner rather than later. Not to dwell on the past, I did find my voice and stated simply: "I'm not being satisfied when we have sex. I don't have an orgasm when we have intercourse and I don't think sex should be over just because you've ejaculated." Can I just say that it wasn't the easiest confession to make but it certainly opened my eyes to a more beautiful world out there? How? You ask. First, there are hundreds of researches to support the benefits of regularly having an orgasm. When a woman climax, feel good hormones are released into the body causing moments of euphoria (bliss) that can last hours. A satisfied woman is a happy woman; a happy woman is a happy life! Do you get the gist now? Achieving sexual satisfaction is an integral part of womanhood!  Second, sexual satisfaction is a God-given gift to women. Don't let nobody block your blessings, your God-given gift! I'll encourage you to read Songs of Solomon in the Bible to learn about the words of a satisfied woman!
  4. The love of a child: Biological, adopted, fostered, niece, nephew, etc. However the connection, experiencing pure love from a child is the closest to experiencing God's love. Children have an innate ability to see past adults' pretenses which they will call out. In the same light, a child will give 100% of their affection towards those they feel safe around. So I encourage you to love on a child whether yours, your friends', your nieces or nephews, your neighbors, etc. Even the Bible said, "unless you convert and become like one of these children ( humble and pure in heart), you can't make it to heaven," Matthew 18: 2 - 7.
  5. Large Earnings: Working hard is good but working and earning large,hard  titillating cash is even better! Nothing like that large amount hitting your bank account and causing a knowing smile on your face. That's right sis. To achieve this, educating yourself into financial freedom is important. Gone are the ages when women depend on men for every penny they'll need. God forbid that I have to ask my spouse for money to purchase sanitary pads or a dress or car or even an income property. Not that there's anything wrong with a man footing these bills. But sis, ensure you have your own earnings that is worthwhile in your accounts too.
  6. A man that genuinely loves you: When a man genuinely loves a woman... enough said. 
  7. Contentment: No matter the number of red, brown, black or green bottoms, brand name clothes, the size of the house, the yacht, first class tickets, the caliber of friends, the cars, etc. No matter the amount of excesses, if you're yet to learn the art of contentment, you'll live the rest of your life chasing after the wind. 
  8. A fulfilling passion: Doing what you love. Every woman ought to experience pure bliss from doing what she loves to do. The list is literally endless. If doing makeup gives you that unique smile, gather your brushes. If driving brings a relaxation for your soul, grab your keys and turn the wheels into the highway. If speaking to the hearts of people speaks to your heart, by all means speak on! Doing what you love may not always bring money but it will give you a reason to want to live another day on earth!
There are so many more experiences a woman must have before death comes knocking. What experience(s) is/are on your list?

Shalom

By Latunde Bolarinwa 24 Jun, 2021
Isn’t it interesting that when you conduct a google search for list of women who struggled with depression or mental illness in the Bible, the list usually consists of men and perhaps one or two women at most. Some might argue it’s because the Bible was mostly patriarchal; however, pages of Scripture are littered with stories of women…strong women who at one point in their lives endured the strains of a mental illness, whether short or long-lived. Mental Health is such a vital aspect of humanity. What makes us human isn’t merely our physical health and spiritual health. Without our mental health, we are incomplete. So it baffles me that we rarely speak about this aspect of our lives. What’s even more shocking is the stigma we (humans) place on those who struggle with an ill-health in the mental aspect of their humanity. Why is that? As I’ve always asked, if someone is diagnosed with cancer or diabetes, or high blood pressure or tooth cavity, or congestive heart failure, or found in spiritual ill-health such as lying, stealing, fornication, adultery, etc., do we automatically stigmatize those with these types of illnesses? Or do we empathize with and encourage them to seek appropriate treatment? I think most of us fall into the latter category. In the same token, those struggling with mental ill-health deserve such empathy rather than stigmatization. While the Bible describes many individuals dealing with all manners of mental illness, I want to share a few women and their plights: From the first few pages of the Bible, we read about the first family, their dysfunctions and shortcomings. Eve certainly must have endured Major Depression when her first son murdered her second son in cold blood. Then to watch that same first son being cursed and made a wanderer on earth (essentially becoming homeless, aimless and hopeless)! Many of us may not consider what Eve must have endured and though the Bible does not explicitly explain this either, we get a glimpse from the meaning of the name of another son she birthed: Seth means, “God has granted another son in place of Abel, whom Cain killed.” What a trauma! (Genesis chapter 4). We don’t know Noah’s wife’s name but we are familiar with the experience their family endured—worldwide, colossal wipeout! Imagine being the wife of a man that received the task to build a world class ark/ship/boat/yacht/submarine or whatever you want to call it! Once again, I can only imagine. (Genesis chapter 6, 7,8,9) Barrenness drove Sarai, Rachel and Hannah to pull extreme stunts. Sarai going as far as upgrading her servant’s status to co-wife and imagine what happened when the said servant became pregnant by her husband, the same man she’d been having sex with for decades without success! (Genesis 16). Similarly, Hannah watched her husband impregnant her co-wife over and again while she (the most loved) remained infertile. Bible records in 1 Samuel 1: 10 that “Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.” The impact of such trauma in Hannah’s life was evident by priest Eli’s accusation ( 1 Samuel 1: 14). How can I conclude this writeup without the mention of Mary, the mother of Jesus! The horror to watch your son suspended in the air by several inches of nails in his hands and feet! Yes, she knew He was the Savior, she knew He was special, unlike the rest of her children. Still, no mother is ever prepared for such event! Again, the Bible does not discuss her mental state during and after these dark moments in the history of the world but we can only imagine that Mary stayed in bed most of those three days after Jesus had died, crying until tears dried from her eyes. The emotional toll it must have taken even long after Jesus ascended to heaven. Ever ponder about that? Amazingly, the stories of these women did not end in sorry or depression or sadness. That’s the beauty; knowing that God loves us and sees whatever we are going through. That’s why Bible verses such as Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11 have a special hold on my heart. Each woman identified in this article laughed in the end: Eve gave birth to so more sons and daughters. Noah’s wife and her family survived the colossal wipeout and set their feet, once again, on dry earth! Sarai (later called Sarah) gave birth to her own child, a son for her husband! Rachel whom Jacob loved very much gave birth to two children as well! Hannah of course gave birth to Samuel, a son better than ten sons! Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus also had other sons and forever known as The Mother of our Savior! Are you a woman reading this piece and wondering why you’re going through whatever it is you’re going through, let me encourage you with this: I am on this same ship with you. You might be in the deeper end of the struggle just as I once was, and I’ll be honest, it was really dark and scary. You feel alone, lost, anxious with no ability to pray. Remember how Hannah was described? In deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed onto the Lord; yet literally, no words proceeded from her lips. Here’s my step by step guide to come out of that deep end: If in a crisis, Text “NAMI” to 741741 Call/Text: (202) 304-8793 or Email: olatundebola2017@yahoo.com Schedule an appointment with your primary care doctor Request for PHQ9 assessment Request at least two weeks or few days wellness time-off from work Call National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Depression or 1-800- 950 - NAMI (6264) Find a Support Person or Group to confidentially speak about the situation. Pray: simply dialogue with God. The only formula for praying is the Lord’s Prayer and its as simple as talking to a friend. There’s no need for perfection during this dialogue. Shalom
By Latunde Bolarinwa 09 May, 2021
Motherhood isn’t just a role, it’s a destiny that starts the moment your heart, without warning, connects with another heart—usually a tiny beating heart that flutters in your stomach. For mothers who begin this destiny in-utero, your heart sings a different tune towards this unknown being slowing invading your internals. For most, it’s a happy tune, an indescribable happiness mixed with mild anxiety over the safety of this invader. Day after day, week and after week, you begin to realize that it’s your destiny to provide a safe haven for this foreigner until its arrival into this cruel world. For mothers who begin this destiny ex-utero, you’re equally preparing for a role unlike any other. Your heart sings differently than ever before, a mixture of happiness and anxiety over acceptance, connection and so much more. There’s a constant silent question in the back of every mother’s head: do I have what it takes to raise this individual? This isn’t a question of financial competencies, though that too is important. This question is at the very core, a question of fulfilling her destiny of Motherhood.
By Latunde Onabajo 03 May, 2021
By design, the human body has limitations, even if at its healthiest. For example, we can only bend our arms so far before snapping the bones into two. Or the fact that the muscles of the feet are designed to grow tired after long hours of walk/running or general activities. These aren’t necessarily negative limitations; they simply the body’s way of protecting itself from breaking down to beyond repair.
By Latunde Onabajo 25 Feb, 2021
“Then He said to the woman, ‘I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 NLT)
By Latunde Onabajo 16 Feb, 2021
Have you ever experienced orgasm?
By Latunde Onabajo 26 Jan, 2021
Genesis 2: 16-17 ; Genesis 3: 1-24
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