2019 Thanksgiving just wrapped up in the United States of America. As we gathered, many of us shared our reasons for being grateful this year. We ate and had our fill. We spent time with family members and/or with friends, caught up on what's been going on throughout the year (and things have been going on in America, if you get my drift!). Some got engaged; others broke the news of a pending divorce. For some, it was an anniversary of a birth, death or tragedy. All in all, November 28, 2019 came and has gone until the following year.
Next on our agenda: the almighty Christmas!
As we approach Wednesday, December 25th, I can't help but think about the many things on my girls' Christmas list. They want this and that, and are working tirelessly to remain on Santa's Nice list. They expect a very nice package from him under the Christmas tree.
My 7.5year old daughter has several lists she's been writing since the summer. "I want Santa to get my list early so he doesn't forget the things I really really
need for Christmas," she said.
At first, I thought how cute but realized (again), I am the Santa.
I am the one expected to make those purchases. I am the one expected to wrap those gifts and make sure they fit under the tree. I am the Elf
who must ensure Santa delivers those items on her never-ending list.
In that moment, I threw my hands up in the air for a time-out and sat down with my daughters. Then I asked the following questions:
1. Where are your gifts from last Christmas?
2. How often do you play with or use those gifts?
3. How many of those dolls do you already have?
By the time we concluded our session, we both realized very important lessons: my daughters thought I was the meanest Elf out there! Praise heavens I got my message across!
And I realized how frivolous buying multiple gifts for children is not because they really need them but because they see these ads and want these material things to fulfill their fleeting desires!
Young children can barely distinguish between needs and wants. And toy companies know this truth so they capitalize on our children's desire for everything that captivates their eyes because they know that their googly eyes will unlock the hormones in our brain that keeps us from saying NO to our children.
A few recent studies in 2019 found that people are taking out more loans to meet their holiday shopping expenses (please read again). People. Are. Taking. Out. More. Loans. To. Meet. Their. Shopping. Expenses. I hope none of my readers are one of “those people” and if you are, please elaborate your reasons in the comment section below.
Rather than cancel all the items on my daughters' list (that would really make me the meanest Elf in the world!), I used that as a learning opportunity: The Act of Giving.
This Christmas, both my girls will donate their gently used toys and clothes before they receive another on Christmas Day. They are both excited to give away those teddys and toys and clothes and shoes they no longer need. In return they will receive a toy we both agree balances between their needs and wants. Oh, and there's a spending limit too.
All in all, the goal is to teach my daughters that it is more blessed to give than receive and that life is much more than gathering of material things that are today here and tomorrow no more. Above all, I want to guide my daughters to appreciate life and others around them. I want them to grow up understanding that by giving (of their time, their love, their smile, their kindness,) to others they are sowing seeds that live forever. It's the best gift that keeps giving!
Shalom