Raise your hand if you’re a mom and you’re exhausted from:
1. Distant Learning with children?
2. Having the children at home all day (I love them but…)?
3. Having children at home all day practically screaming “I’m hungry mommy” every 15 minutes?
4. Working , cleaning the house, and cooking more?
Now raise your hand if you teetered between cutting your hair, becoming a firm believer in turbans, scarves and the ever faithful wigs! Hundreds of thousands of hands and feet just went up so congratulations to you reading this blog, you’ve joined a very special group of very special individuals on planet earth!
Jokes aside, the last few months have been testing to say the least. In light of COVID-19, parents globally were unexpectedly inundated with not only parenting (which in itself is tough) but teaching…academically. Can I just take a moment to lament about the mathematics ‘they’ teach children these days?
75% of that stuff, I don’t understand and for crying out loud, I’m a Masters Degree graduate! What’s that about? Anyway, I digress.
Whether you’ve become a teacher to one or more children (even preschoolers), I know it can be physically, mentally and socially exhausting to add such role to an already filled plate that we mothers carry on a daily basis. I wish there was a wand I could wave to make all these exhaustion disappear but as we both know, those only happen in Disney movies! *sigh*
Notwithstanding, I’m a firm believer in striking a healthy balance which may look different for many moms but here are a few of what I practice to make my day a little less chaotic and I hope it helps one or two moms out there:
1. Create a Realistic Assignment Schedule for those little ras…um, I mean children: In my household, both my daughters have about 12 subjects they are required to submit weekly assignments for.
I created a school schedule with three classes each day between 9am – 3pm (that’s 2 hours per subject) and leave Friday open for any work not completed by Thursday. This gives everyone a nice easy pace to follow for the week. Giving the girls 2 hours to work on each subject gives me sufficient time to do my work without being often interrupted. Following this routine gives ample time to submit all assignments by Friday evening then everyone can relax on the weekend.
2. Tomorrow Is Another Opportunity: On days my ras…um, pardon me again…I meant children! On days my children don’t adhere to schedule, I chant my mantra, “if the LORD wills, tomorrow is another day to try again.” Whilst this may sound like procrastination (perhaps to an extent), I’ve found it helpful to take away the immediate anxiety that comes with wanting to get so much done and realizing that there are only a few hours left in the day! Many times we "procrastinate" till the following day and sometimes only for a few hours.
3. Close The Book and Ask The Child: When I notice my daughter ‘dance’ around instead of focus on their work, I sometimes simply ask what they are feeling in that moment. I know this may sound like you’re adding the role of therapist to your already filled plate but asking your child this question could save a ton of time and energy to help them refocus later. Many times, because children are cooped up in the house, they may feel restless, anxious, etc but not know how to express themselves. By helping them navigate their thoughts, you could erase hours of futile attempts to solve those pesky math problems.
4. Leave The House: Please read this in its entirety. Again, in light of COVID-19, our first priority is to protect ourselves and family so I encourage you to always have your Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) which includes masks, gloves, etc., every time you leave the house. Many times, I’ve bundled my girls into the car for a neighborhood drive around. We started this tradition of driving to neighborhoods in our Bowie city that we’ve never visited to check out residential houses and let me tell you, they have some really nice houses in Bowie! While seated in the car, my daughters and I daydream about what the inside of ours would look like if we owned one of those mansions. Doing this at least once or twice a week takes our mind off school work.
The list is endless. You can take away from the above list or add yours in the comment section below.
Parenting is hard! Parenting, teaching and counseling can be a hair pulling experience but it doesn’t have to be. Just like the Bible encourages us to “train up a child in the way he/she should go…” (Proverbs 22:6), I want to encourage us that we are not expected to raise perfect children because there’s no such thing (only Jesus was and will ever be!). We won’t always have healthy dinners or perfect scores on the assignment or fresh clothes laid out every morning or shower everyday (jury is still out on this one), etc. As parents, in those moments that things might seem or become overwhelming, please ask yourself these questions:
1. What’s the worst that could happen if assignment (or whatever) is not completed now?
2. How will completing this task NOW impact my family versus if completed at a later time?
3. Have I taken a deep breath lately? When was the last time I danced to my favorite song or exercised or sang off-key in the shower?
Whatever the situation, these questions might seem silly and inefficient but what you're really asking yourself is simply this: How will this current challenge change my world today, tomorrow or forever? If you can honestly answer this question, I believe you are onto a new path of stress-reduced living.
Shalom