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5 Things Every Parent Must Do With/For Their Children
Whatever character your child displays today is a recipe for what they could become tomorrow.
Here in Maryland, most schools resumed on January 2, 2020 to parents’ delight. The overwhelming holiday shopping, gift-giving and returns may have left some parents wishing for an earlier return. I know I was excited Thursday morning. But as I prepared their bags, I couldn’t help but think of ways I could improve my parenting skills. Sure I’m committed to ensuring that they wear clean clothes and a well packed lunch but I decided to challenge myself to do more beyond the normal routines. While pondering, I came up with these five priceless actions I think every parent could adopt in their parenting journey too:
1. Daily lay hands on your child and pray blessings upon his/her life: While I pray with my children nearly every day, I don’t often lay my hands on to pray and bless them as Jesus often did on the little children who came to Him. In Matthew 19:13, the Bible describes Jesus blessing the little children. Laying of hands can signify a transfer of anointing, blessing, energy, etc., from one person to another. Lay your hands on your child's head and pronounce/invoke blessings, protection, safety, excellence, healthy, etc. As parents, we are called to this special role in the lives of our children. No one will pray for your child like you would, I don't care how anointed that person is. Remember that how we impact our children’s lives reflects heavily in their adult years. Laying hands on our children in prayer and for blessings daily can make a significant impact beyond our imagination.
2. Feed them well: Having been raised on mostly organic, homemade diet, I am biased to all things healthy and balanced for children because I was raised with organic and natural foods. In Nigeria, our meals consisted of natural fruits and vegetables. I literally climbed trees, plucked guavas, almonds, mangoes, bananas, etc., and ate them. The spinach, collard greens, meat, fish, tomatoes and peppers I ate were as natural as you could imagine. I spent most of my time outside playing, and walking from point A to point B…you get the gist. These days, our children are exposed to manufactured, processed products that sadly does more harm than good! This breaks my heart because we see the impact of these poor diets on children. There are more obese children now than ever before! Combined with their poor diets, children are sedentary, sitting more than standing, watching more than playing outside! Let’s decide this year 2020 and beyond to feed our children well. If you need help, here are some links that provide guidelines for healthy nutrition options:
3. Groom their talents: It is not enough to groom our children’s academic acumen! In fact, it is a great disservice to only focus on our children’s academic acumen! Children’s mind is like a sponge: it has the ability to absorb so much more than it weighs. Does your child like to talk? Don’t shut them down; channel that skills into public speaking. Does your children have energy and would barely sit still? Don’t complain that they are “too much” instead, channel that energy into karate, fencing, swimming competition, dancing, music classes, stitching, cycling, engineering, robotics, etc.
Whatever character your child displays today is a recipe for what they could become tomorrow.
4. Play with them/learn something new with them or pick up a new hobby with them:
This year, my daughters and I will be traveling and discovering places together. I discovered their love for travel summer of last year and wished I had incorporated travel into our schedule much earlier. Better late than never!
5. Sow a financial seed into their lives/future: When a seed is planted, that seed is harvested in thousands of seeds. It is the same way with financial seeds. No matter how small the amount is, it grows into multiple seeds. Open a college account or mutual funds or stock in your children’s names. Also, teach your children the importance of wise spending, property investments, debt management, and business acumen! Sowing these seeds in your children’s lives are priceless inheritance that no man will ever take away from them.
Our children will not live with us for the rest of their lives. They too will one day grow up to become independent adults just like we are today. Isn't it great to plant seeds that will never die but yield harvest every single day in their lives? There are so much we can do that are not listed above. I’m curious to hear what want to add to this list.
I bet the question on many reader's mind is: where is the time to do all these? Be on the lookout for my blog on time.
Shalom.
Isn’t it interesting that when you conduct a google search for list of women who struggled with depression or mental illness in the Bible, the list usually consists of men and perhaps one or two women at most. Some might argue it’s because the Bible was mostly patriarchal; however, pages of Scripture are littered with stories of women…strong women who at one point in their lives endured the strains of a mental illness, whether short or long-lived. Mental Health is such a vital aspect of humanity. What makes us human isn’t merely our physical health and spiritual health. Without our mental health, we are incomplete. So it baffles me that we rarely speak about this aspect of our lives. What’s even more shocking is the stigma we (humans) place on those who struggle with an ill-health in the mental aspect of their humanity. Why is that? As I’ve always asked, if someone is diagnosed with cancer or diabetes, or high blood pressure or tooth cavity, or congestive heart failure, or found in spiritual ill-health such as lying, stealing, fornication, adultery, etc., do we automatically stigmatize those with these types of illnesses? Or do we empathize with and encourage them to seek appropriate treatment? I think most of us fall into the latter category. In the same token, those struggling with mental ill-health deserve such empathy rather than stigmatization. While the Bible describes many individuals dealing with all manners of mental illness, I want to share a few women and their plights: From the first few pages of the Bible, we read about the first family, their dysfunctions and shortcomings. Eve certainly must have endured Major Depression when her first son murdered her second son in cold blood. Then to watch that same first son being cursed and made a wanderer on earth (essentially becoming homeless, aimless and hopeless)! Many of us may not consider what Eve must have endured and though the Bible does not explicitly explain this either, we get a glimpse from the meaning of the name of another son she birthed: Seth means, “God has granted another son in place of Abel, whom Cain killed.” What a trauma! (Genesis chapter 4). We don’t know Noah’s wife’s name but we are familiar with the experience their family endured—worldwide, colossal wipeout! Imagine being the wife of a man that received the task to build a world class ark/ship/boat/yacht/submarine or whatever you want to call it! Once again, I can only imagine. (Genesis chapter 6, 7,8,9) Barrenness drove Sarai, Rachel and Hannah to pull extreme stunts. Sarai going as far as upgrading her servant’s status to co-wife and imagine what happened when the said servant became pregnant by her husband, the same man she’d been having sex with for decades without success! (Genesis 16). Similarly, Hannah watched her husband impregnant her co-wife over and again while she (the most loved) remained infertile. Bible records in 1 Samuel 1: 10 that “Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.” The impact of such trauma in Hannah’s life was evident by priest Eli’s accusation ( 1 Samuel 1: 14). How can I conclude this writeup without the mention of Mary, the mother of Jesus! The horror to watch your son suspended in the air by several inches of nails in his hands and feet! Yes, she knew He was the Savior, she knew He was special, unlike the rest of her children. Still, no mother is ever prepared for such event! Again, the Bible does not discuss her mental state during and after these dark moments in the history of the world but we can only imagine that Mary stayed in bed most of those three days after Jesus had died, crying until tears dried from her eyes. The emotional toll it must have taken even long after Jesus ascended to heaven. Ever ponder about that? Amazingly, the stories of these women did not end in sorry or depression or sadness. That’s the beauty; knowing that God loves us and sees whatever we are going through. That’s why Bible verses such as Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11 have a special hold on my heart. Each woman identified in this article laughed in the end: Eve gave birth to so more sons and daughters. Noah’s wife and her family survived the colossal wipeout and set their feet, once again, on dry earth! Sarai (later called Sarah) gave birth to her own child, a son for her husband! Rachel whom Jacob loved very much gave birth to two children as well! Hannah of course gave birth to Samuel, a son better than ten sons! Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus also had other sons and forever known as The Mother of our Savior! Are you a woman reading this piece and wondering why you’re going through whatever it is you’re going through, let me encourage you with this: I am on this same ship with you. You might be in the deeper end of the struggle just as I once was, and I’ll be honest, it was really dark and scary. You feel alone, lost, anxious with no ability to pray. Remember how Hannah was described? In deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed onto the Lord; yet literally, no words proceeded from her lips. Here’s my step by step guide to come out of that deep end: If in a crisis, Text “NAMI” to 741741 Call/Text: (202) 304-8793 or Email: olatundebola2017@yahoo.com Schedule an appointment with your primary care doctor Request for PHQ9 assessment Request at least two weeks or few days wellness time-off from work Call National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Depression or 1-800- 950 - NAMI (6264) Find a Support Person or Group to confidentially speak about the situation. Pray: simply dialogue with God. The only formula for praying is the Lord’s Prayer and its as simple as talking to a friend. There’s no need for perfection during this dialogue. Shalom
Motherhood isn’t just a role, it’s a destiny that starts the moment your heart, without warning, connects with another heart—usually a tiny beating heart that flutters in your stomach. For mothers who begin this destiny in-utero, your heart sings a different tune towards this unknown being slowing invading your internals. For most, it’s a happy tune, an indescribable happiness mixed with mild anxiety over the safety of this invader. Day after day, week and after week, you begin to realize that it’s your destiny to provide a safe haven for this foreigner until its arrival into this cruel world. For mothers who begin this destiny ex-utero, you’re equally preparing for a role unlike any other. Your heart sings differently than ever before, a mixture of happiness and anxiety over acceptance, connection and so much more. There’s a constant silent question in the back of every mother’s head: do I have what it takes to raise this individual? This isn’t a question of financial competencies, though that too is important. This question is at the very core, a question of fulfilling her destiny of Motherhood.
By design, the human body has limitations, even if at its healthiest. For example, we can only bend our arms so far before snapping the bones into two. Or the fact that the muscles of the feet are designed to grow tired after long hours of walk/running or general activities. These aren’t necessarily negative limitations; they simply the body’s way of protecting itself from breaking down to beyond repair.
“Then He said to the woman, ‘I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 NLT)
Have you ever experienced orgasm?
Genesis 2: 16-17 ; Genesis 3: 1-24