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10 Goals TO Adopt In 2020

     I don’t know about you but I’m very expectant about this new coming year. Honestly, I think everyone is treating 2020 as the golden, magical year that will bring the solutions our lives have been longing for, myself included. Somehow I feel 2019 has been preparing me for 2020 and now that it’s around the corner, I want to share the 10 goals I will like to adopt in the New Year:

     1. A Praying Sister Partner: I tried this a few years ago and the few times we prayed together, I was strengthened both spiritually and emotionally. My partner prayed in faith with me for those requests I believed God for. Our partnership fizzled because we both started a family. I need this in my life again.

     2. A Giving Spirit: I think one can never out-give. If you already have this Spirit, you can always give more. I’m not talking about giving in quantity but giving in quality. Giving more kindness into the world, being more appreciative and giving more of my patience (this one especially to my children).

     3. Reading More: Don’t get me wrong, I already love to read and get lost in a fantasy world but if I must be honest with myself, I watch more than I read. 2020, I’d like to reverse that statement. The world has so many books that are waiting to be discovered, flipped and earmarked. Anyone want to join me on this adventure?

     4. Taking More Rest: As in, spend moments where I’m doing absolutely nothing but laying down and shutting down my brain from earthly distractions. 

     5. Kisses and Hugs: Okay this one is a little tricky. I don’t want any Tom, Dick and Harry to think they can walk up and demand a kiss or hug. It’s mine to give and thank you very much I’ll decide who gets a kiss and hug at my own comfort.

     6. Closer Walk with God: This one shall continue to be a priority. By His grace I will describe myself as a woman after God’s Heart but I can’t say I always do the things that please His Heart…just like David.

     7. Read my Bible Daily: #6 can only be possible if I completely adopt this one. Daily reading of the Bible is better than using the GPS to find your way home even if you think you know the way. Without a doubt, the Bible is the roadmap to my entire life. Sadly, I don’t follow it’s instructions as I should…this ought to change moving forward.

     8. Love My Body More: I promise myself to love every single inch of my body, inside and out. That includes my currently flabby arms and stomach. Every single day starting now, my mindset will change from highlighting my flaws to admiring my beauty marks. I’ve been told I’ve got beautiful lips, mesmerizing eyes and a face that brings a smile to others. There we go! What a great way to start already!

     9. Financial Suavity: Not every flashy, social-media trending and viral products deserves my penny. Just because some “influencer” says “oh my gosh, this product changed my life,” does not mean it will change mine. In fact, I am certain it won’t. I am sure they were paid to take couple of photos, pretend they use whatever they are selling and then go visit their Brazilian (or whatever country they go these days) doctors for their weekly injections. Tufia Kwa! I reject the follow-a-tion of social media trends.

     10. Write Thank You Notes: It’s funny how I still have birthday cards from ten years ago and I’m sure you’ll find cards older than that. I keep them because they bring a smile to my face whenever I get a chance to read them. They bring memories that I’m sure the giver has even forgotten about. Hand written Thank You notes bring similar warmth to my heart. I hope to bring the same feeling to someone. If one person feels that warmth, then I’ve adopted a wonderful habit.

     It’s not like I’m not already practicing some of these written goals (with the exception of a praying partner), I want to become a better version of what I currently am. There’s no denying that this will require some intentional sacrifice on my part…that should make 2020 exciting right? I look forward to others sharing something they would like to adopt in the coming year.

Shalom.

By Latunde Bolarinwa 24 Jun, 2021
Isn’t it interesting that when you conduct a google search for list of women who struggled with depression or mental illness in the Bible, the list usually consists of men and perhaps one or two women at most. Some might argue it’s because the Bible was mostly patriarchal; however, pages of Scripture are littered with stories of women…strong women who at one point in their lives endured the strains of a mental illness, whether short or long-lived. Mental Health is such a vital aspect of humanity. What makes us human isn’t merely our physical health and spiritual health. Without our mental health, we are incomplete. So it baffles me that we rarely speak about this aspect of our lives. What’s even more shocking is the stigma we (humans) place on those who struggle with an ill-health in the mental aspect of their humanity. Why is that? As I’ve always asked, if someone is diagnosed with cancer or diabetes, or high blood pressure or tooth cavity, or congestive heart failure, or found in spiritual ill-health such as lying, stealing, fornication, adultery, etc., do we automatically stigmatize those with these types of illnesses? Or do we empathize with and encourage them to seek appropriate treatment? I think most of us fall into the latter category. In the same token, those struggling with mental ill-health deserve such empathy rather than stigmatization. While the Bible describes many individuals dealing with all manners of mental illness, I want to share a few women and their plights: From the first few pages of the Bible, we read about the first family, their dysfunctions and shortcomings. Eve certainly must have endured Major Depression when her first son murdered her second son in cold blood. Then to watch that same first son being cursed and made a wanderer on earth (essentially becoming homeless, aimless and hopeless)! Many of us may not consider what Eve must have endured and though the Bible does not explicitly explain this either, we get a glimpse from the meaning of the name of another son she birthed: Seth means, “God has granted another son in place of Abel, whom Cain killed.” What a trauma! (Genesis chapter 4). We don’t know Noah’s wife’s name but we are familiar with the experience their family endured—worldwide, colossal wipeout! Imagine being the wife of a man that received the task to build a world class ark/ship/boat/yacht/submarine or whatever you want to call it! Once again, I can only imagine. (Genesis chapter 6, 7,8,9) Barrenness drove Sarai, Rachel and Hannah to pull extreme stunts. Sarai going as far as upgrading her servant’s status to co-wife and imagine what happened when the said servant became pregnant by her husband, the same man she’d been having sex with for decades without success! (Genesis 16). Similarly, Hannah watched her husband impregnant her co-wife over and again while she (the most loved) remained infertile. Bible records in 1 Samuel 1: 10 that “Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.” The impact of such trauma in Hannah’s life was evident by priest Eli’s accusation ( 1 Samuel 1: 14). How can I conclude this writeup without the mention of Mary, the mother of Jesus! The horror to watch your son suspended in the air by several inches of nails in his hands and feet! Yes, she knew He was the Savior, she knew He was special, unlike the rest of her children. Still, no mother is ever prepared for such event! Again, the Bible does not discuss her mental state during and after these dark moments in the history of the world but we can only imagine that Mary stayed in bed most of those three days after Jesus had died, crying until tears dried from her eyes. The emotional toll it must have taken even long after Jesus ascended to heaven. Ever ponder about that? Amazingly, the stories of these women did not end in sorry or depression or sadness. That’s the beauty; knowing that God loves us and sees whatever we are going through. That’s why Bible verses such as Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11 have a special hold on my heart. Each woman identified in this article laughed in the end: Eve gave birth to so more sons and daughters. Noah’s wife and her family survived the colossal wipeout and set their feet, once again, on dry earth! Sarai (later called Sarah) gave birth to her own child, a son for her husband! Rachel whom Jacob loved very much gave birth to two children as well! Hannah of course gave birth to Samuel, a son better than ten sons! Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus also had other sons and forever known as The Mother of our Savior! Are you a woman reading this piece and wondering why you’re going through whatever it is you’re going through, let me encourage you with this: I am on this same ship with you. You might be in the deeper end of the struggle just as I once was, and I’ll be honest, it was really dark and scary. You feel alone, lost, anxious with no ability to pray. Remember how Hannah was described? In deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed onto the Lord; yet literally, no words proceeded from her lips. Here’s my step by step guide to come out of that deep end: If in a crisis, Text “NAMI” to 741741 Call/Text: (202) 304-8793 or Email: olatundebola2017@yahoo.com Schedule an appointment with your primary care doctor Request for PHQ9 assessment Request at least two weeks or few days wellness time-off from work Call National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Depression or 1-800- 950 - NAMI (6264) Find a Support Person or Group to confidentially speak about the situation. Pray: simply dialogue with God. The only formula for praying is the Lord’s Prayer and its as simple as talking to a friend. There’s no need for perfection during this dialogue. Shalom
By Latunde Bolarinwa 09 May, 2021
Motherhood isn’t just a role, it’s a destiny that starts the moment your heart, without warning, connects with another heart—usually a tiny beating heart that flutters in your stomach. For mothers who begin this destiny in-utero, your heart sings a different tune towards this unknown being slowing invading your internals. For most, it’s a happy tune, an indescribable happiness mixed with mild anxiety over the safety of this invader. Day after day, week and after week, you begin to realize that it’s your destiny to provide a safe haven for this foreigner until its arrival into this cruel world. For mothers who begin this destiny ex-utero, you’re equally preparing for a role unlike any other. Your heart sings differently than ever before, a mixture of happiness and anxiety over acceptance, connection and so much more. There’s a constant silent question in the back of every mother’s head: do I have what it takes to raise this individual? This isn’t a question of financial competencies, though that too is important. This question is at the very core, a question of fulfilling her destiny of Motherhood.
By Latunde Onabajo 03 May, 2021
By design, the human body has limitations, even if at its healthiest. For example, we can only bend our arms so far before snapping the bones into two. Or the fact that the muscles of the feet are designed to grow tired after long hours of walk/running or general activities. These aren’t necessarily negative limitations; they simply the body’s way of protecting itself from breaking down to beyond repair.
By Latunde Onabajo 25 Feb, 2021
“Then He said to the woman, ‘I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 NLT)
By Latunde Onabajo 16 Feb, 2021
Have you ever experienced orgasm?
By Latunde Onabajo 26 Jan, 2021
Genesis 2: 16-17 ; Genesis 3: 1-24
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