On Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, Psychological Needs ranks second after Basic Needs. While the Hierarchy can interchange at times, for most human beings, the Basic Needs for food, water, rest, warmth, security and safety and the Need for Belongingness and Love remain at the top of the pyramid.
So when this Need for Belongingness and Love is threatened by an intruder—think trauma, physical disability, mental illness, sexual abuse/assault, etc—there is a sense of inadequacy or brokenness that leads to biased thought processes along the line of, “I can’t be loved”, I’m not normal”, ‘I can’t live life to the fullest”, I’m broken or dysfunctional”, I’m not perfect”, “No one will accept me”, etc. These thoughts can have lasting damaging effects, lead to suicidal attempts and painfully, in some cases, fatality.
Marlow's Older Model Vs. Newer Model that includes Cognitive Needs and Transcendence
One of the reasons I’m in love with God Almighty, the One who created me, Jesus, my Lord and Savior and the Holy Spirit, my comforter and friend is the FACT that ever before I was conceived, they made provision for all of me: body, soul, spirit, and mind. They knew that at a particular point on the spectrum of time, I would face some debilitating life situations that will shake my core, my faith and purpose. So they ensured inspiring Words were written by imperfect human beings who also endured debilitating life situations.
The Living Word of God, the Bible contains inscriptions that will literally speak to EVERY single area of your life. It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. It’s such as encompassing Book that to ignore the words therein can be likened to choosing to walk around your house in the dark knowing fully well that one flicker of a switch will drive the darkness away. An example is Apostle Paul who, despite his amazing ministry, openly expressed his struggle in II Corinthians 12:5 - 10:
5That experience is worth boasting about, but I’m not going to do it. I will boast only about my weaknesses.
6If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it,
because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message,
7even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God.
So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger
from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.
8Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.
9Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
10That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses and in the insults, hardships, persecutions,
and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
While Paul didn’t specify the “thorn”, I believe this was deliberate so we can all insert our “thorns” in this passage and know that God’s grace is absolutely sufficient for us as we seek treatment. The loss that occurs when we speak to the right person—medical personnel, therapist, supportive peer/friend or family—about the “thorns in the flesh” is the burden of shame and fear we’ve carried with us for so long.
Therefore, I want to encourage you, dear brothers and sisters, friends and family not to cradle the fear of losing yourself when you seek help for your mental health but have this conviction that you gain so much more when you are free from sadness, sorrow, irritability, foggy mind, loneliness, agitation, lack of motivation, low esteem, low sex drive, etc.
As your sister, friend, and supportive peer on this journey called life, I can boldly share that there’s nothing to lose from taking care of yourself as best as possible; there's nothing to lose from saying NO to anyone (including family members) when you feel even the slightest tingle of overwhelm; there's nothing to lose by speaking with a counselor who can help identify the triggers/symptoms and how to address them; there's nothing to lose when you ask God to send helpers who can help remove or lessen the burden. Dear friend, there's nothing to lose but plenty to gain.
Shalom